Beware the Pull of “Us Versus Them”
Filed under: Developing Yourself, Leadership & Career, Leadership Tip of the Day
It’s easy to get caught up in departmental or team squabbles inside of organizations. My advice: stay clear, stay out of it and learn to think and act for yourself.
Some functional squabbles are legendary. Sales versus Marketing. Marketing versus Development. Marketing and the rest of the organization. Hey, maybe Marketing is the problem here! Perhaps if we put that group in their place… . (Just testing you.)
Stay clear!
Us versus Them squabbles are commonplace and destructive. “They don’t understand what we do.” “They’re not in front of customers like we are.” “They think that we just sit down at our computers and magically, new software code spews forth.”
It’s not about they or them, it’s about us and we.
People that view departmental walls and boundaries as fixed and even as important are misguided. The focus is and must be on creating value for customers, on differentiating versus competitors and on finding as many ways as possible to improve efficiency and effectiveness. While people might have a home base and a vocational orientation (marketing, sales, engineering etc.), there is no one group more important than the other.
You are all dependent upon each other.
The challenge to innovate often breeds dedicated “innovation” teams where a new form of “Us versus Them” develops. One group, the innovators are cool and free from much of the bureaucracy that everyone else lives with on a daily basis. The other group: operations, work to provide the funding that allows the innovators to do their thing. Managers best beware of the potential for this situation to create divisions and hard feelings.
The challenges and solutions for managers to resolve silo problems and turf wars revolve around attention, constant communication, mutual respect and the creation of an environment of accountability for working together. All groups are critical…all groups are valuable for many reasons.
As for you as an individual contributor or leader, steer clear of attempts to draw you into the divisions. The temptations is strong. When you feel the urge to rail about another group, skip the moaning and reach out to a counterpart in that group and find a mutual way forward. You’ll be happy that you did.
The Leader’s Journey from Fear to Self Confidence
Filed under: Decisions, Developing Key Skills, Developing Yourself, Leadership & Career
In spite of the popular myth of the fearless leader, it is my belief that a large number of leaders at all levels struggle with fear. Some work through their fears on the way to developing self-confidence and others battle it daily and resort to various coping strategies, including over-compensating with extreme aggression or extreme timidity.
Learning to positively and productively cope with fear is an important part of developing as a leader.
My observations on fear are just that…observations gained in the workplace and through my own mentoring activities. This is not a water-cooler topic of conversation, nor is it one that jumps to the top of the noble and lofty “leader as mythical being” found in the majority of leadership writings.
Fear is palpable for humans, and those placed in positions of responsibility for leading others share the same issues as the rest of the population. Showing fear and vulnerability in the workplace is perceived as something to be avoided at all costs for all employees, and doubly so for those in leadership roles. Nonetheless, it exists.
Common Fears of Leaders:
- Early career leaders are often giant bundles of unspoken fears where everything is foreign and guidance is often nowhere to be found. They perceive that they are responsible for everything yet they don’t know how to do anything.
- Many individuals worry that it will be discovered that they are actually bluffing their way through their days and they fear being outed as frauds either to their team members or their bosses. There are often two different groups for this one. There are the conscientious individuals that are learning on the job and that few would perceive as disingenuous. And then there are those that truly don’t get it and as a result, they adopt bluster and bravado as their best friends.
- Many leaders fear specific tasks such as delivering feedback, dealing with personal and team conflict, interacting with senior management or getting up in front of the entire company to provide an update. The common response to these issues is avoidance.
- Fear of losing power drives some leaders to engage in all manner of destructive or at least counter-productive activities in an attempt to strengthen their hold on their slice of the kingdom.
- Fear of making decisions is often driven by political fear or the fear of being visible as having been “wrong,” and the result is an unwillingness to take risks and make decisions.
I could go on, but I’m at risk of practicing psychology with a license here, so let’s move to some solutions and coping strategies. A quick note…for those of you reading this far and looking forward to me launching on the evil leaders, you’ll have to wait for another day. The suggestions below are focused on helping well-intentioned professionals and leaders learn to cope with, overcome or at least harness their fears for productive use.
4 Suggestions for Overcoming Common Fears:
1. Dealing with anxieties around “what to do?”
Accept the reality that one of the key challenges and opportunities of leading comes from dealing with ambiguity. On the one hand, there is often not a clear way forward, so you are on your own or at least on your own with your team members to figure it out. The good news is that no one else knows the absolute right answer for most situations, including your boss or the CEO. Seek out the best information given the circumstances, involve your team members in developing ideas and approaches and help everyone move forward. If you’ve made a mistake, work with the team and take corrective action based on the lessons learned.
2. Dealing with the anxiety of, “I’m not sure how to lead.”
Regardless of how your role as a leader came about, someone somewhere observed something in you beyond just a heartbeat, so quit worrying about how you got there and start focusing on learning the role. My guidance is to arm yourself with a good understanding of the role of a leader-there are ample sources at your fingertips that describe this, including my version of The Leader’s Charter. Know your role, align your priorities around helping, enabling and supporting your team members and don’t look back. While we are born with various attributes that might help or hinder our leadership skills, in my opinion, most leaders are made. The only way to learn to lead is by leading.
3. Overcoming fear of tasks-the feedback dilemma.
It’s widely understood that the ability to deliver constructive, behavioral focused feedback is one of the most important tools and activities of a leader. It’s ironic then that in surveys and workshops, this activity is consistently identified as a personal weakness. Why?
People fear negative reactions, they fear suddenly not being liked or respected, or they lack the self-confidence to politely assert on the behaviors and actions required for the mission. Ironically, employees on the other hand generally value respectful behavioral feedback and grow frustrated when they don’t receive it.
Overcoming the fear of delivering feedback or the fear of public speaking is best accomplished through a combination of study and practice. There are ample sources on learning the very logical and simple approaches to delivering feedback and dealing with conflict (plug: including the Building Better Leaders programs), so take the time to learn the processes and best and worst practices and then go out and put this knowledge to work. The directions to Carnegie Hall are still the same: practice, practice, practice.
4. Dealing with a fear of making decisions.
You will be wrong. Probably more often than you would like to consider. Now get over it. The only thing worse than making a wrong decision is holding your team hostage by never making a decision.
I encourage and mentor young leaders on simple decision-making and risk analysis models and like any of the skills-based fears, as you add some context and structure to your thinking and then practice the activity in live-fire settings, your confidence will quickly expand.
The Bottom-Line for Now:
Facing up to fear as a leader is an important part of growing up and succeeding. Ultimately, you will need to develop the right balance of self-confidence tinged with fearlessness and wrapped in a bit of humility to succeed.
Teams smell and sense fear and that breeds uncertainty in the working environment. On the other hand, teams and individuals sense bluster and bravado and that is destructive as well.
Learn to confront your fears head on and seek out the tools and training necessary to hone your skills. Then, put this to work and recognize that no one expects you to be perfect…but everyone expects you learn, grow and improve and to help them do the same. As you overcome your fears, remember to pay it forward.
Want to Make A Difference? Treat Leadership as a Calling
Filed under: Developing Others, Developing Yourself, Leadership & Career
The most effective leaders that I’ve observed, worked for, mentored and studied all have one thing in common. They have a deep regard for the impact of their role on others and they treat this responsibility like a precious gift, holding it in trust and preparing to pass it along to the next generation.
These leaders view their profession as a calling, not a job. They view themselves as teachers and mentors and coaches and they practice these disciplines relentlessly.
Alternatively, those individuals that I’ve observed struggling in their roles tend to focus on the transactional components of daily business while preoccupying on the trappings of leadership, including false perceptions of power and prestige.
These less effective and less satisfied leaders have yet to accept their role as something greater than a job with a title, a salary and maybe an office with a door. Often, these are the leaders that we don’t hear from in the form of feedback, or if we do, it is destructive and critical instead of constructive and developmental.
Are Servant Leaders Weak Leaders?
While some might bristle or take issue with the characterization of leadership as a calling, viewing this description as representing a style as soft or weak, I vehemently disagree.
Some of the best servant leaders that I know set expectations high and are consistently rewarded with performance that exceeds those expectations. They’ve nailed the leadership challenges all the way from talent selection and development to the effective use of feedback, coaching and mentoring.
Part and parcel of getting the elements of leading right includes dealing fairly with poor performers, reinforcing consistent application of core values and making timely, tough decisions every single day. No weak leaders here.
Depending upon your circumstances while you are reading this…current leader or aspiring leader, know that you have a choice to make every day that you walk in the door. You can model your behavior and performance after one that views the honor of leading as a calling, or you can ignore this deeper issue around leading to your own disadvantage.
Make the right choice. You’ve got lives to positively impact and organizations to grow.
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